What does love mean?

Reading through an inspiring note of my friend which listed definitions of love from some little kids, I can't help and wonder what's the meaning of love? Or does love really exist outside Disney?

When people start to grow up, we tend to make things more complicated than it should be and even forget about the love that we have. We just get lost and blinded by all the politics in relationships sometimes. The craziest thing is we now call those politics love.

What is love to me? I always love the way it is told in the bible.

"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. ..."-(Holy Bible)

Beautiful, simple, pure and the truth that we always know somehow deep down inside our heart and hidden by all the calculations.

We could even doubt the love from people who are biological programmed to love us, how about 2 people that are not related? Is it possible for us to get our heart back from the childhood and say love is when I could share all my french fries with you and ask for nothing in return?

Single And Fabulous!

It’s 2 in the morning, another sleepless sober Sat night. With my coffee and a Michael Crichton’s, I’ve just started to realize that I’ve had this same weird conversation with different friends today.
“A: Are u seeing someone?
Me: What? No, who said that?
A: I don’t know. Just look like you are”

Could someone really actually tell if that guy/girl was dating or not by simply a look? I am not a feminist but why no one believes girls could still be doing great without men. OK, Maybe I am afraid of commitment or maybe I’m just trying to avoid all the possible heartbreaking sections. I still believe in “single and fabulous!”

Jealousy

I’ve never believed a relationship full of jealousy is gonna work. I am not saying that it’s no good to have the green devil around sometimes, but when it takeovers everything? That’s not good. Frankly, none of my friends survived. Most of them end up with “the break-up”. Pity!

Where does all the jealousy come from if you have faith in your own relationship? Why bother starting a relationship if you are not secure in it? Guys, why don’t you just start believing that you are the only one for your girls and Girls, guys could have girl friends too! What kind of relationship is that if you can’t accept these facts?

I'll Be There

I'll Be There

Writing on your hands
Whispering in your ears
Please catch me when I fall

Dancing in the pouring rain
Raindrops or tears
Could u be able to tell

Saying those words again
Down on your knees
Hoping you could change it all

Be here waiting
Blinking back my tears
Promising nothing is gonna change

Finally, I've done reading “Why Men Love Bitches”. This book is really fun to read. It's interesting not because how Argov talked about some “nice girls” might fake an orgasm so as to please their men but the way she said that every girl should be independent.

Many of my girl friends have been experiencing the “breakup” or “recovering” lately. No doubt, it's heartbreaking. Grumbling, yelling and crying like hell seem appropriate. When you think again, you should have known that those are just some silly acts showing you are desperate. Why should we be sad for someone who takes us for granted? We are so much better than that. Choosing to be with the guy we fell for doesn't mean we can't live without guys, it's just the matter of choice. We could still be doing just fine with or without men. There is nothing worth dying for. Learn to love yourself before loving the other. If you don't, you are just as pathetic as the guys who don't know how to love.

Love isn't a game that we gotta learn to play by the rules. There are too many unexpected. Just so everyone knows, most of the girls trying so hard to please their guys just wanna show they care. Some girls are just not the “bitches” materials. It took more than love to build up a relationship. I mean love fade eventually if you don't hold it. A little bit respect would be appreciated.

If Tomorrow Never Comes

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Listening to the rain
Finding a reason to make it through a day
There is only one voice in my brain
Your are here for me as always

Being in your arms today
Feeling your heart beat so strong
With this sunset fading away
I could know that this is where I belong

Holding my one last breathe
Just to tell how much you mean to me
No matter the dawn is gonna break or not
I’m gonna love you till the end

just... feel like writing this

Tired to wait or just can't help to search...

Recently, I just have a feeling that everyone around me is kinda interested into my love life. Why's that? No matter where I go, "Any new guys?" seems to be a must-ask question. Do girls really have to be that hurry finding "the one" or finding "the one" has already became a way to satisfy friends n parents' curiosity?

As a girl, I still don't get it. Why everyone has to act like "I can't live without a man". Is it really matter for a girl to stay single? It's great to be in a relationship but exhausted to look for the right one. More important, it hurts to find out he/she is not "the one". If there is such thing of meant to be, why do we have to waste our time to search and get hurt?

In this game of hide and seek, I've started to realize there is no perfect one for everyone of us. There are always problems about the right time and place. Waiting is just tiring.

June Bride

Aprilshowers bring May flowers, June seems to be the best month to get married. The weirdest thing is July is coming! No matter where I go, I see things related to marriage and baby. Is that just a girl illusion or something like a sign? That drives me crazy.

Wedding gown should be each girl’s favorite dress. Well, I’m a girl too but recently, this bridal thing is kinda driving me crazy? I love flipping through fashion magazines. Lately, even I’m reading a cosmetic magazine, there is a bridal section!!!! What’s going on here? Bridal sections in July issues of every single magazine?!

When I was sitting in a café, sipping my Irish cream latte, there are always cute little kids or babies around. I just can't help but to go playing with them...

Although bridal things, family stuff are beautiful, it’s still not so funny for single girls to run into all those things EVERYDAY and EVERYWHERE! When is it gonna stop? I mean the “June bride” dream should be over now! It’s July few more days later!

Men and Dogs, No Big Difference?

Have you ever got IM and asked for cyber or been sent naked pics? Having plenty of guy friends, I’ve started to realize that good guys, girls have been dreaming of are pretty much extinct. Theoretically, 80% of the guys are all about sex. This type of guys don’t really care who the hell you are, only if you got boobs and asses. Another 10% are the “Prince Charming”, they are married, live happily ever after with their princesses and going to be extinct sooner or later just like those hot blondies with sexy blue eyes. Apparently the 10% left are gay. They are perfectly fine for a date if you don’t mind holding hands with a guy in pink pants.

I am not saying that it’s wrong for guys to think about sex. It’s a basic animal instinct. Trust me, girls crave for the same thing. Only we do it in a different way not going out on a street and shout “I wanna get laid!”. Frankly, you could pretty much get everything if you could be able to make a girl crazy about you. What are the differences between you and the dogs if you guys don’t know how to BE SMART and think about what we really want?

Dignity or Not

Heavy rain last nite, I had no choice but to rush back to my room since I don't have an umbrella. It was so not romantic. I used to love walking in the rain so as to cleanup my mind. I have got rid of this bad habit I guess. Living like a mess is better than living for nothing.

When it comes to mess, everyone around me is kinda messy. I mean they are dealing with the hardest part of a relationship, the breakup. Even when I was home, I could find girls yelling, screaming on the phone asking for the reason of the breakup in the public. Is the breakup so hard that drive everyone crazy or it's about how much we have paid into a relationship?

No doubt, breaking up is tough no matter it's ur call or not, if it's necessary to make it even harder yelling and crying. Is it possible to breakup with dignity? Why dont just cry abit in your bed and get a good sleep? As a matter of fact, you are living in real life, you gotta deal with it. Waking up, It would be a different day.

CHEER UP MY FDS. <3

Fine or Not

Have you ever wondered who would be there taking care of you when you are sick? I did after throwing up all night. I wasn’t surprised that there was actually no one there. That’s the worst thing to be single, rite?Who do you want the most at that moment? I don’t know, I was kinda thinking of A, no matter how hard I have been trying to tell myself that I’m so over him. Surprisingly, I am still a bit confused about his category in my life. For most of you, bf/gf and friends would most likely be your very first choice. Even you haven’t shown, you were actually so glad that there were someone there asking if you were ok. Maybe we just need to ensure the love around still exists, or maybe illness brings out our insecurity. Let think it this way, would you wanna be there for the one you care about in this sorta situation? Everyone wants to of cuz. Trust me, I almost flew to Paris when I knew he was shot. I guess I should have.

Self control or Not

When you are bored in class, what would you do? Well, texting, chatting, PSP are most likely to be happened. Today, I was pretty bored in the Math class, I’ve overheard some guys conversation. It was about their “experience”. Do you guys have nothing to show off other than having sex with a prostitute?
Well, it’s not my first time hearing or getting involved in guys’ talk which was about sex. I’m actually ok with this sorta conversation but is it necessary to share it in class loudly? They can’t give themselves a little bit self control. Guys talk should be in a club, rooms or online. Even if u wanna let the gurls know that u ar such an expert in geisha houses, u say it directly, not giggling like a gossip girl. Be a MAN!
Somehow, guys just can’t get rid of the animal nature. I’ m not saying that it’s not ok to have sex. No offence. I just wanna wish them luck with the HIV test.

Losing Game or Not

“Don’t find a man u luv but a man who luvs u”, isn’t it familiar to you? Everyone must have heard that especially for gurls. It seems to be a new responsibility for mothers to warn her own daughters way before we took our first dance class. How many of u could reali do that?
No matter how hard we try to keep that in mind, we would just make the same mistake again and again. “Sex likes a man” is rarely happened to a gurl. Even Samantha Jones gotta admit that she was in love with Smith. Being with someone u doesn’t like is such a torture. With a guy treating u like a princess, it just doesn’t seem rite.
Maybe gurls are just attracted to BADBOYS or maybe we were reali designed to lose in this game. We just can’t fight our feelings.

Mars, Venus or Not

For guys, gurls with huge boobs and hips are most likely to be called hottie. For gurls, topless Chad Micheal with six packs is sexy no doubt, but we are looking for more than physical. Even the way guys talk might say to be sexy, so how do u define sexy? Is it the way we think lead us to the different planets?
Well, for me, musicians and sport players are hot but am I gonna fall for this sorta sexy? Guys always said they dont understand women. Think again, women ain't that hard to be understood. Women are just complicated animals who look for simple comforts. When we said we wanted to talk, we are looking for a listener not an answer. Frankly, It is such a turn-off for u guys to keep providing answers which we don't need. All u need to do is to be there and say that everything's gonna be alrite.
Men n Women, we even got different ways to define sexy. How could we be possibly living on the same planet. Maybe it's our difference make us attracted to each other.

Cursed or Not

Bridesmaid/ Groomsman?
"Thrice a bridesmaid, never a bride". Still remember there was such curse about being a bridesmaid. It is also said that it could be broken by being a bridesmaid seven times. Knowing there is such curse, have u ever wondered how many times you r gonna be somebody's bridesmaid or groomsman? Let put it this way, how many close fds u got would want to have u as their bridesmaid or groomsman to share the best moment of their life? For me, more than 3 I guess but Im not so sure if it's gonna reach 7. I admit that I got a lot of fds. When it comes to fds you could reali talk to, not much. Isn't it true for everyone? How are u gonna choose if u are asked to wear ur 3th bridesmaid dress? I'd take the risk. It doesn't mean I dont wanna be a bride. Trust me, every gurl thought about their dream weddings when they were little. Just I believe that my guy would be there for me no matter we are married or not but being my fds' bridesmaid indicate that how much u mean to them. It would be such a shame to miss out the way they walk down the aisle.

Ready or Not

Having a friend who is married to a girl at my age, I was kinda surprised. I'm not saying that he should marry me or something, I was surprised that how they could come up with this kinda huge decision. When they married, he was like 20 and the girl was 18 and pregnant. U might think it's dramatic. Believe it or not it is true. I was so proud of him but marriage is such a great commitment. No doubt, the proposal part is sweet. When you couldn't even be able to take care of urself, how can you promise that you could take care of ur other half and kid and live happily ever after? Maybe that's y I said maybe someday n ruined everything or maybe I just not sure wt we were. I'm not the one who think marriage is just the last legal form of slavery. I do belileve in marriage but When could we stand up and shout out loud that we ar ready? Never I guess!

Chicken or Not

It's funny how we start a relationship. Before the relationship, there are always bubbles. You are not sure about how u feel about that guy/ gurl and how he/she feels about u. U might end up getting the wrong msg or too chicken to say wt u were supposed to say. Sadly, most of us are the chicken type, especially for guys. I remember there were guys asking me wt to do after finding themselves got a crush on somebody. The very first thing came to my mind was "Are u serious?". I mean GUYS, if u fall for somebody, u tell her, not ask ur fds! Sometimes, guys are just more chicken than the gurls. Even gurls gave them hints, they just aren't dare to take the first move.Are we kinda going back the the age of blind-dating? In this case, no one would have to worry about who's making the first step.

Bitchy or Not

Studying in Mainland China for almost 2 yrs, the one and only one thing I've learned is how to be bitchy. Everyone here says HK gurls are bitchy. Think again! Wt makes us so bitchy? It's u ppl!
I'm pretty gd at pissing my roommate off now. I dont reali wanna be like that she just kept testing my patient every single day. I'm just wondering, living with a guy would probably be better than living with her.
Trust me, I was not that bitchy. Some guys even called me "Gurl next door type" while they were writing stuff on my notebk at the end of the skool yr. At least guys dont think Im bitchy. Maybe gurls do. I dont know. Anyway, spending time with my bloody roommate, rude ppl on the bus and blah blah blah, I realized that there ar no space for us to be sweet and nice here in China.
We, gurls ar not meant to be bitchy, sometimes I'd rather call it self defense. When you have no guys standing up for urself, U just gotta learn how to be bitchy so that no one would dare to take advantages on u.

True Romance or Not

Living in a city like Hong Kong, U might find that ppl around are always busy with something. When we take a closer look to every single one, u might find it hard to find any trace of romantic stuff. Is the city lack of true romance?
Y dont you ask urself wt the most romantic things you have ever done with ur bf. It might be a candle night dinner, movie nite or something like that on the weekend. Even ppl offer u his seat could say to be romantic but someone writing u a luv poem is icky! wt's wrong with everyone? That's just the way to express one's feeling.
Maybe we are just too used to the oridinary life we are living. True romance became sorta old-fashioned for many of us. Do you think it's time for us to picking up some of those true romance to light up our life?

Long Distance or Not

What's the most interesting things of being in a relationship? Some say joy, some say the feeling n some might say the physical contacts. I'd say the unknown. Maybe that's y ppl found long distance so interesting. I dont know. Long distance just makes me feel like I have it but I dont.
Long distance is great. I mean beauty grows with distance rite? Even it is always kool to look forward to the unexpected, there ar reali too much unknown in relationship like this. Unknown could be scary sometimes. U just feel like you could never know what's in his/her mind. It is hard when you realized that there was no one be there for u when u needed him/her the most.
What we were? I'm not sure. I dont know if we could say to be a relationship. It was sweet but I just didn't think I could even make it to top 5 in his heart no matter what he said. Bloody French. It was tough to admit that he luv his job more than me.

Reality or Not

Ayn Rand once wrote, “Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It is yours.” It has been years since graduating from high school. It should be time for every one of us to shine, to go for our dreams. Looking back to these days, all I saw was days of fooling around, cheerleading for the basketball team and studying 24/7 for the public exams were slipping away silently with all the childhood faiths and beliefs. Does everyone have to go through this process, facing the reality?
Gathering with a bunch of old classmates during the winter break, I found something that I’ve lost for a long while. It was such a great moment to meet so many old friends who gave one another courage to fight for our dreams. Years ago, only less than half of the students could get into the colleges after sitting for the public exam. No one could really understand how hard we’ve been studying for that, unless you were part of that miserable educational system. After receiving the shocking result, I was delighted to know that everyone moved on. Some got into colleges, some took different kind of training courses and some stepped into the society. At least all of them were heading to their goals.
What was I doing here? Frankly, I was not so sure. I got into a college studying things that I hated so much. Maybe I was just too stubborn to admit that I was not that straight-A student anymore and let my passion perished with time. Seeing my old friends made me think twice about what I really want for my life. That passion is kinda coming back to me I guess.
Sometimes, it is not that hard to face the reality, only if we could keep on believing in ourselves. And sometimes, we just have to be reminded what we are capable of so as to keep that fire burning inside. The world we desire can be won.

Outsider or Not

Are u in love? There are dozens of traces proving if u are or not. It isn’t that difficult to notice these sorta traces. As “an outsider”, the picture is even clearer. Outsider could even get the hints before “the one”. What if “an outsider” became “an insider”? It would definitely be a mess. Maybe just because I’m a Pisces or maybe not. Being an outsider for so long kinda make me hesitate to get into the circle to be an insider. I’m not insecure about relationship or maybe a little. Outsiders just don’t know how to make the move when it comes to themselves.

Sex appeal or Not

Weather is kinda getting hot lately. All of my tops could finally get out of my wardrobe. Walking down the street, 9 out of 10 guys stare at my boobs or my waist if i was with my lowcut jeans or legs if i was with skirt. Trust me or go try it urself. If tank top n jeans could give such a big influence, guys would probably pass out when they see bikini gurls by the pool.
Im not saying that it's a sin for guys to look at gurls. Gurls do the same to the boys. It's instinct but do u guys reali have to give this kinda lascivious look? I mean at least guys should control themselves a bit in order not to let the gurls think you are dogs. I've never found HKers doing this. It gave me another great reason of not into chinese guys.

Hunting or Not

Some ppl said that for guys, relationship is kinda like hunting. They look for the excitment throught the hunting process. They'd search for the new target if they think they got u. For gurls, it's like picking herbals. We just treasure wt we've got after picking wt we want. Of cuz, there are some exceptional cases. During the hunting, the "bitches" type is always the main target. The "gd gurl" type is not. I mean which hunters would choose a hidden little rabbit instead of a deer knows how to flirt?Sometimes, we, gurls are not playing hard-to-get. We just dont know how to say it cuz we have been so used to be hunted.

Move on or Not

d Sometimes, we do realize how stupid we were to fall for the wrong guys. All we do is blaming ourselves being such a naive little gurl at that time. Even we know that it's time for us to move on, we just couldn't. Moving on seems to be the
the hardest part.
How long does it take for u to move on? I'd say forever. Once u fall for somebody, it would be impossible to get over him the next day. He always stays in ur heart n shows up whenever u feel like needed someone.
It's so easy to tell ur fd to move on but when it comes to urself... It's hard. Somehow we just need somebody else to heal. Anyway, If I had moved on, I would have got rid of my French Addict for a long time.

It's time to let go, dear fds.

Time needed or not

I've listened to a radio station recently. The host mentioned that there was a research about relationship stuff. It was said that if someone could look u into the eyes for more than 5s, he or she wants u! Have u ever reali looked into somebody eyes for more than 5s? It wasn't a easy task but I do believe everyone did that before.
Even it was some kinda scientific stuff, I dont think 5s is needed. Sometimes, we just know. One single look, one single word n one single touch would be more than enough to show how much u like someone.

Pure Fdship or Not

Is it possible for a gurl to have 100% pure fdship with a guy? I've been asking this question to myself for a long time. I do believe it's possible cuz I think I could manage it well. Too well that I've even noticed I have missed so many things. Maybe it's the problem of having too much bfs, I mean friends who ar guys.
I'm always gd at telling who is fell for somebody or who is having an affair. When it comes to myself, it's such a mess. I suddenly became too slow to get those hints. Anyway, I still can't understand why I'm always the one to be the relationship consulter. Maybe that's how I manage this kinda 100% friendship.

Crush or Not

It's funny how difficult it is for us to realize that we are in love. There are dozens of book telling us about those little traces that we couldn't even notice. Who knows? As a Pisces, I do admit I'm kinda have a crush on everyone easily.
I've never expected any great guy come into my life cuz great guys have extincted! Every girl is just looking for someone to give her that sense of secure, someone to hold on to, a shoulder to cry on...