Gurl and the City

God told me to get to know you, to love you

2010-10-07T23:03:00.001+08:00

"God told me to get to know you, to love you"

-A letter to Danielle written by Yuen.

It is said that true love is eternal. As a Pisces, I always believe that it didn't only happen in fairy tales. I was just reading a news story about a French girl and a Chinese guy. They met 55 years ago. Danielle was born in Beijing and taught Russian in college. Yuen, a married man, was one of her students. They met and fell in love. Yuen didn't leave his wife for Danielle. Danielle also went back to France with her parents few years later. They could only keep in touch by writing letters. Unfortunately, cultural revolution broke this only connection they had left.

50 years later, Yuen wrote to this girl again. Danielle was unmarried for 55 years. She once told her friend that she had only loved one man in her life and he was still there in her heart. Last month, they met for the first time after over 50 years and even got married.

I guess true love does exist somewhere.

http://dailynews.sina.com/bg/chn/chnlocal/sinacn/20101001/22581874177.html?ref=nf

Manila Hijacker Shot Dead

2010-08-23T22:42:00.002+08:00

The disturbing news about the hostage incident finally came to an end. It was reported that 7 people were killed. People travel around to have fun. Who would be expecting to be shot in a hijacked bus? No matter it's on Facebook or just random people on the street, everyone is talking about this shocking news.

In the mall, tons of people were there watching the live broadcast. I was one of them. It was one thing to watch the news report. It was totally a different thing to watch a live broadcast and hear the gunshot. People always said that HK people are all about money but when it comes to any misfortune, people always care. Anyway, life goes on.

Manila Hijacker Shot Dead; Some H.K. Hostages Walk Out of Bus - BusinessWeek: "Hijacker Shot Dead"

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution

2010-08-22T00:22:00.001+08:00

I knew about the name of Jamie Oliver from his first cooking show on TV years ago by chance. I do like his shows very much. I think one of the most influencing shows would be Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. He went to West Virginia, USA and tried to change the local eating habits starting from different schools. Most local people there were against him at first. I wouldn't know if it was just drama or for real but It was very inspiring especially when he spoke as a parent.

Everyone knows processed food is bad but we are still eating them. Looking at the videos, people from the Government said fries was considered as veggie. That's ridiculous. Serious problem around the world. Just walking on the street and see how many little kids are having weight problems. It's sad that we are not doing something when we know its gonna kill us soon. No doubt, fast food is convenient but as a girl who loves trying out different recipes and stuff, I just don't see the point of eating those crap everyday. Well, few meals might be? But everyday? That's insane.

The whole season is actually available on Youtube, if you guys are interested.

Cheat?

2010-06-20T18:12:00.001+08:00

Honore de Balzac, a French novelist once described love as a game, in which one always cheated. From the royal family to commoners like us, it seems that betrayal has been back into fashion these days. Even a couple happily wedded for 20 years could be cheating on each other secretly. Is it a sign telling us to give up on love?

These days, everyone could come up with thousands of various reasons or excuses to cheat. "I didn't mean to", "It just happened", "I was drunk"... Aren't they just familiar? Can you really get a free pass to cheat because you are high? No! Call me old-fashioned. For me, committing to a relationship is a serious matter. If you are not ready for the responsibility, why date?

Head over "Heels"

2010-06-15T01:02:00.004+08:00

“I could run a marathon in heels and wake up the next day and run another one”

-Sarah Jessica Parker

No matter whether shoes are high-end Manolo Blahnik or affordable Hennes & Mauritz (H&M), women's obsession with high heels remains the same. Even Marilyn Monroe thought that all women owed the inventor of high heels a lot. Looking into a lady’s closet, who doesn’t have a pair or two lovely heels to go with her daily outfits and evening dresses? For all the shoe addicts of the world, shoes are more than footwear, They are pieces of art.

Manolo Blahnik collection

Scenes of women chasing taxi or walking their dogs in their 4-inch stilettos seem to be typical in
Hollywood movies. In an era in which clothes and accessories not only show personal style, but also express your personalities, it is not hard to spot a woman walking in heels, on the street or in school, despite the discomfort they may cause. The truth of the matter is that these glamourous shoes actually damage your body while you are wearing them.

The problem that high heels cause for women's health is an ongoing issue. According to different studies, wearing heels not only crushes your toes, but also puts all of your body's weight on balls of your feel, causing bunions and blisters. It is possible to suffer extreme pain not only in one's feet, but also in one's back, knee, and calf as a result of wearing high heels. Researches has indicated that shoes with low heels, from one-half to three-quarters of an inch in height, are best for a woman's feet. Wider shoes with an arch support are also recommended. The pain caused by wearing high heels is the body's way of telling women to stop wearing these shoes. Tolerating the discomfort of heels just to enhance one’s physical appearance or to be stylish is irrational behavior.

You don’t need to follow what everyone is doing in the entertainment industry to be chic. Coco Chanel once said, “Fashion fades; only style remains the same.” Fashion is not about pursuing the latest designer shoes, but about creating your own style. Simple ballerina flats could rock a runaway. All you have to do is to take a few minutes to think about what to wear before falling head over heels with your heels!

My article published in HerZine 2010 Issue 1, English magazine of UIC

Battle of the Sexes

2010-06-14T01:34:00.002+08:00

As a final year college student, we should be enjoying the last few months of each other's company. Instead, most of us are getting “pre-graduation anxiety”. Future careers and further study are becoming much talked about topics among us. Even sitting in class, classmates will ask you about your future plan. I happen to have been asked the same question the other day. Dying to get out of school and pursue my childhood dream to be a writer, I told him that I wanted to start working before doing any further study. He nodded, and expressed his feeling toward educated women. I was totally shocked by his response.

Living under the influence of multi-cultural environment, it was hard for me to believe that a guy my age would describe women who choose study and have a career over marriage as “leftover”. He thought that women would concentrate on their work only because they could not find a man when they reached their 30s. It is like they are the unwanted left out by the guys. Guys are now referring this situation as midlife crisis for girls. More importantly, he was not the first Chinese guy that I had met with such an ignorant attitude. I just couldn’t help but wonder, are men really that intimidated by women’s success? Or have the brains of Chinese men not evolved since the Qing Dynasty?

Once women received education, it’s common for them to have relatively high standards when it comes to choosing a partner. Also, many women now seek for financial and emotional independence. Men are not a women's everything, we just choose to have them to be part of our lives. Marriage doesn’t mean everything anymore, and men get intimidated by the fact that women can do just fine without them.

In the past, Chinese girls didn’t get as many chances to go to school as boys. Even in wealthy families, the ultimate goal for every girl was to get married with an eligible bachelor. Nowadays, women can hold leadership positions in Congress, own business, and become doctors. A new era has arrived. Women are no longer seen as “birth machine”. We have the same ability in a variety of fields, and, in some fields, have even stronger abilities than they do.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that men could be replaced by women and I’m not against marriage. I’m just saying that two sexes should have equal opportunity to obtain what they deserve. Negative comments regarding women who would rather fall in love with their BlackBerrys than walk down the aisle are just disrespectful. Why are single, twenty-something men are said to be ambitious, while women of the same age described as “leftover”? Women standing up for themselves, is battle yet to be fought in China.

My article published in HerZine 2010 Issue 1, English magazine of UIC

Free Riders?

2010-04-28T22:29:00.004+08:00

What are the worst excuses you have ever heard? I always thought that I’ve known them all until I fell into a recent group project trap. I was always good at working with people, even the laziest person in my team wouldn’t have the balls to do nothing. The result might not be great but I appreciated their effort. We worked and took responsibility as a team no matter what. This is my version of teamwork. You wouldn’t have a say as a team member if u had no contribution to the group. That’s how I work. If you are not happy with it, don’t bother to join my team. I’m not mean. I just have low tolerance for ignorance, ass kissing free riders.

I’m now basically called NICE because of what has happened recently. That’s not good for my reputation. I mean NICE never goes with FRANCESCA when it came to project. Everyone is asking why I’ve chosen such partner when I had so many choices. I don’t know how to answer. I made the decision because I trusted his ability and personality. It turns out I was so wrong. I feel like betrayed or something. I didn’t even know how the hell I’ve put up with all those craps. Although people who know him insisted I should beat him up, the only pms thing I’ve done was an angry text. I think I’m losing my bitchiness…

Seriously, I feel sorry for these kinds of people. Someone who couldn’t even get a school project done probably, I have no idea how he is going to live on his own. Maybe you would say that I was not qualified to make such judgment. What I’m trying to say is I worked 13 hours 7 days a week for months, I learned that life is not easy. You couldn’t expect your work to be magically done when you woke up in the morning. If you choose to ignore your work, you will be replaced sooner or later. The world wouldn’t stop spinning because of you. Just need to vent...

Some of the BEST excuses or promises, (seriously i don't think anyone has made that much promises to me within a few months)

1.    I’m sorry, I overslept. (Are u 5?)
2.    I don’t know how to do it. (Like I know everything)
3.    I can’t find any info I needed. (Did u actually try? I doubt that)
4.    I will quit the extracurricular. (Quit my ass)
5.    I promise I will have more time for the project. (Doesn’t seem like it)
6.    You always send this kinda msg to me. I don’t know how to communicate with you. (First of all, one txt is not considered to be always. Second of all, I don’t know how to communicate with kid like u too)
7.    I don’t know what we are doing. (Because u have never actually done anything)
8.    I’m not familiar with the topic. (Why u suggested this topic in the first place?)
9.    I’m sorry. I promise I’m not going anywhere before getting it done. (Not going anywhere doesn’t mean you will work)
10.    I’m busy. (Like I have time to wait for u 24/7)

Inconvenient truth

2010-01-11T11:14:00.001+08:00

I don’t know how to begin. Talking to my friends, I find out how terrible China is. Obviously, 4 year of school life hasn’t made me a patriot. I’m not saying that to offend anyone. They are just my observation after spending like almost 4 years here in China. Things you might or might not know about college and China.

Copyright= copy is right

2 or more people walking in the same direction with the same purpose= illegal procession

3 people or more discussing the same topic= illegal assemble

Tiananmen Square protests of 1989= never happened

No politic in class or else you would end up arguing with the patriots.

For the patriots, everything the communist party said is right. (I don’t know. If they love their country so much, why studies oversea and stays in China for good?)

Speaking up is not recommended.

Don’t believe in anything that people say.

Random splitting on the floor= culture (ICKY)

Government is too stupid to realize that people could bypass the censorship system with proxy. Thanks for the Taiwanese.

Rules are just a guideline for the rich.

Miu Miu, Gucci and LV as schoolbag is normal.

Fashion= wearing every thing with the big label on it, matching or not is not important.

Prostitution is normal. No matter you are the prostitutes or the customers.

Guys would talk about their “experience” with the hooker in class without shame.

It’s ok to screw around with your lovers with the present of your roommates.

School rule says no drinking and smoking but you could buy them in school.

Chinese could build 6 blocks of dorms within 3 months, of cause they are sinking every single day.

You can train your tummy with canteen’s food.

Eating in China takes courage. (I mean just don’t go into the kitchen or the back alley)

Teachers would tell you all of the questions before the exam if you know how to kiss ass.

Students would rather spend days on preparing cheating little note than spending those days on reading the textbook.

There are so many ways to cheat, notes hided in your sleeves, under your laps, in your iphone and watches, even on normal tap and water bottle labels.

There are still Chinese teachers believe that students don’t cheat. Or they just don’t give a damn?

Cheating is ok as long as the teacher assistants in the exam halls are Chinese.

Even you’ve got caught, you could still get away with that if your dad is working for the Government.

You could be absent for the whole semester and still get an A for attendance.

Teachers love BS since grade depends on the thickness of your paper.

You can actually buy a degree if your parents donate a cheap library to the school.

You can get an offer from the Big Four even you fail all the interview and written tests, as long as you know how to kiss the Dean’s ass.

It’s ok for teachers to promote a 10 thousand course in a 2 hour class.

Your professor could bail on you only cause they need to go on a day with their lovers.

Attending Ethic and Law class is a way to experience abuse of human right.

Some English teachers still believe that we do give a damn about the non-credit English class.

They teach you with primary school material during the English class.

Few of them are still in denial that our silence means “we don’t care, could you just shout up and let us go?”

We have realized that some of the teachers should take the English class.

Even you could finish the stupid English exam within 30mins, you are still required to stay in your seat and pretend that you are working on it.

Quality of foreign teacher assistants decreases every single year regarding the hotness and the teaching attitude of cause.

Climate change ‘ forcing polar bears to become cannibals’ - Times Online

2009-12-09T16:38:00.002+08:00

Climate change ‘ forcing polar bears to become cannibals’ - Times Online

Listening to this news on the radio, isn't it shocking? Poor polar bear became the first group of victim for global warming. I'm not saying that I have been doing everything I could to save our planet earth. Just knowing this news, it's sad.

Support

2009-07-19T00:18:00.003+08:00

I've been kinda lazy these weekend. Checking my email account for the first time in these few day, I've got a pretty encouraging mail from a friend. I mean it's always amazing to know that someone is there for you, someone is there supporting you. No matter he/she is a bro, friend or special someone, it just means a lot.

Corny pick up lines?

2009-07-10T23:59:00.002+08:00

This evening, I was kinda bored after knowing that my weekend plan was totally blown off by the typhoon, so I youtubed a bit and accidentally found a video on the topic of guys’ pick up lines. It was funny. I mean jeez, what kind of guy would still use these kinda corny pick up lines so as to talk to a girl.

Terrible pick up line,
“Well I’m here. Tell me your second wish now.”
“Apart from being beautiful, what are you doing here?”
“Have you got something in your eye? Nah, just a sparkle.”
"Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
"If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together."

Frankly, I don’t think guy really need a pick up line to catch girls’ attention (Of course, it would be nice if u do have one which works every time). Why can’t guys just be straight forward? Sweet, nice, funny guys are always charming. Wrong pick up line basically makes u sound like a moron or a dick.

Girls would like to hear some romantic pick up lines but no offense, just use pick lines wisely depends on the girls and the situations. Corny pick up lines don’t work all the time.

Love/ Habit

2009-06-26T23:04:00.000+08:00

We fall in love, we fall out of love and we fall all over again. Sometimes we fall so hard that we can't even control ourselves or sometimes we become numb and take everything for granted. What if we find out that 3 magical words were just spoken out of habit one day and the whole thing of Love is just a lie?

When we were little, we learned to say "I love u". We said it to our family, friends or whatsoever. Getting older, we usually just end up saying it too much or too chicken to spit it out. How can it be possible that we are so afraid of saying these words as a grownup if you really mean it? Anyway we just do. On the other head, we just use it too often and no one would really take it seriously. How can we tell the difference between love and love out of habit?

Chinese? HKers? C'mon. They are not the same!

2009-06-04T01:03:00.007+08:00

I was asked why I hated China so much since I'm obviously a Chinese myself. Maybe because of my relative issues or maybe it's because of the communist things. What can I say? Blame UK for giving Hong Kongers too much freedom and allowing us to think out of this "China is the BEST country ever" box. I'm glad that I wasn't born and raised as a patriot. I mean jeez I didn't even know how to sing the Chinese national anthem till 1997. I still can't remember the whole song anyway.

Living in Hong Kong for this 21 year, I see how things have changed. I see how people moving because Hong Kong was given back to China. I see how people still wanna leave Hong Kong because of the "one country two systems" bullshit. I see how the economy turned into hell. Mainland Government is just trying to manipulate the HK Government. Well, I suck at politic. I think I'm just getting the feeling that it's kinda the right thing for people to stand up against Donald Tsang. It's obvious that all he does is kissing the Chinese Government's ass. Come on! So much money was donated to the Mainland every single year and the Government suddenly became broke when it comes to saving the HKers?

I don't hate China like some of the Chinese hates Japanese. For me, those are what we call histories. Why let ourselves haunted by the past? Fine, you could get the Japanese to apologize for what they have done, so what? People are dead! Nothing could bring them back. Time goes by, it's the moment for a change. We study History to learn about the past and stop making the same mistake all over again, not re-ensure which side we should take. Taiwan is a part of China or not. I don't fucking care. Why bothers fighting over? Is there any prize for initiating World War III?

Until now, I'm still refering myself as Hong Konger not Chinese. Don't judge.

Marriage vs Life

2009-06-02T00:31:00.014+08:00

"I wanna get married when I'm 20 something and have kids before 30, my goal is to be a housewife." it seems to become the thought of the day. My girl friends are obviously going through some pretty intense boy-hunts these days. If you told me you have this thought like 3 years ago, I'd have called you pathetic. Getting older, I guess I kinda get the reason for that even I'm not agree with the whole getting-married-is-my-life-goal thing. After all, life's hard. Still if it's really necessary to put a deadline on getting married? Does marriage really can't co-exist with other dreams?

For me, there are 2 types of girls who would die for marriage. The very first one is being-married-and-be-a-desperate-housewife type. This kinda girl tend to be busy looking for the one who is willing to take care of her for the rest of her life so that she could stay at home and take care of her kids like every single day. They are doing that mainly because they are sick of their boring jobs and wanna find a shelter. Well, of cause the second type would be the happily-married type. She is crazy in love and wanna tell everyone that she has found the one.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that people shouldn't get married. I just don't agree with some of reasons for people to get married. All I'm trying to say is why we have to do it in a hurry and make it sounds like marriage is everything. I still find it sad for some who wanna give up your own life to be a housewife. Come on! It's 2009! Women can be independent. Getting marriage is about having the world to witness your commitment not I-could-finally-quit-my-job-and-stay-at-home-forever.

It's not that I don't believe in marriage because I do. Everyone believe in marriage at some point and wanna broadcast that "we are so madly in love". I believe in marriage. I believe in happy ending. It just needs time to decide where I wanna spend mine.

This Is Us

2009-05-22T13:26:00.001+08:00

Madness in your life
Accidentally bonded two
Loving each day we spent
Aching for the sadness you had
Carving marks in my heart
Hating that we are apart
Indeed, the feeling is absolute

Hoping for that special someday
Struggling for the truth like a fool
Unconditional love is all I could give

I dont know, I've written this months ago. Just feel like posting this now.

Man's Ego and Girly Gal

2009-04-25T00:58:00.003+08:00

Take a look around, girly, bitchy, manly and blah blah blah, it’s not hard to notice that there are so many different kinds of girls but is there a clear boundary between them? For many of my friends, I believe that I’m that kind of girl with man’s ego trapped inside. I don’t know if it’s good or bad but nothing is absolute?

I don't need every single one around to know how I feel. Sometimes it's just better to put work over word. I can’t understand why some girls have to be chicken about doing better than men? There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Men have their egos, we have ours.

To my surprise, I could pick up a girly fight too. After all it doesn’t take much to bring out one’s girly side. Even the manliest girls could also be a girly gal. It isn’t always black and white. You would never know when we are standing in grey.

Love/ Meal Ticket?

2009-04-13T12:57:00.003+08:00

Knowing that an aunt has just got divorced and gave up her millions of property for a 20 year old she has just known, I’m just wondering if love is worth giving up everything for. Being rational, I’d call it crazy. Giving up someone who loves you like crazy for a younger? That sounds so old Hollywood. Being a Pisces, I’d call it LOVE I guess.

How long does it takes to fall in love with someone and makes you realize that he/she is your world but not just a player in the field and you’d elope with this person no matter what? That depends I must say. It wouldn’t take so long with the right timing and person. It just happens.

Maybe that I-love-myself-more-than-anything theory is right. It might sound selfish but at least you wouldn't get hurt so bad. This kind of people knows what to do for the sake of their own good. In real life, how many of us could actually escape from being fooled by the cupids? After all, deep down inside we still believe true love exists.

Girls' Night Out

2009-04-06T01:32:00.002+08:00

Going out on a Saturday night, I just hanged out at the China Bar with a friend. Despite of the sucky live shows and kept being reminded that some guys were staring at my butt, nothing special actually. Playing some pool, drinking some alcohols and talking about guys, what a typical girls’ night out.

My friend came up with a weird theory about that sensual moment basing on how ticklish a girl is and she kind of bets that I couldn’t be able to hold up at that moment since I’m extremely ticklish and I have that thing in biting. I didn’t want to reply so I just smiled and looked around the bar. Maybe I’m maybe I’m not. If it’s just me being blinded when it comes to love or everyone else does the same?

Drinking for hours, we decided to hit the pool table. We are not professional, just want to do something else to burn the night out. We played for an hour and there were these two guys just kept standing right next to us. That was kind of annoying. Guys just can’t hide the dogs inside of them, especially in China, no offense. Sometimes I just can’t understand why so many girls have to die for someone who doesn’t deserve it. I mean it shouldn’t be like that. We girls don’t NEED men, we just CHOOSE to fall.

April Fool or Just a Fool

2009-04-05T01:25:00.000+08:00

Receiving a message saying “I love you” in the middle of the night, I’ve suddenly realized that the April Fools’ Day has came. Anyway, I didn’t really have time for these kinds of pranks because of the presentation last night. It was sad. Today supposed to be fun.
After the morning classes, a group of girls gathered and talked about the April Fools ’ Day. We came up with a question, if it’s a better day for you to say I love you. Walking to the guy you liked and spilled out these three words, it would be less awkward if he was not feeling the same.
Maybe it’s because of the date or maybe my time is finally less occupied. I realized that I’ve been such a fool when it comes to these three words. Well, which girl isn’t?

GUYZ

2009-03-09T14:37:00.004+08:00

I've just watched a video about how HK guys think about HK girls. That's so not fair. I mean not every girl is like that (except for those MK, HKers know what I am talking about). Anyway there is still something I wanna say, not mean to be bitchy.

1. Jerks, We are not fat: Some guys are blaming girls for wanting to lose weight. Most of the girls I know are like "gah, I'm fat". I mean if you want to lose weight just go to exercise or something, stop complaining and going on those freaky diets (which are not for human). These poor girls wanna lose weight because of their guys and how dare you guys calling us crazy now?

2. Materialistic: Who isn't? Wake up, it's 2009 now! No woman would stay at home and be your maid. We girls work and buy stuff that we can afford. What's wrong with that? You guys could go for your Wii, no judgment. Don't be insecure! It's just the fact that women could be better than guys too.

3. Gentleman/ Lady: Ok, that's true that we think guys are not "gentleman" enough sometimes. Girls want their guys to walk them home, is that really such a big deal that you guys gotta bring it up to fight against the girls? We just wanna spend more time with you. If you don't wanna do it, just don't. No crappy excuse and say that we are not "lady" enough.

4. Runaway Princess: Which girl doesn't wanna be treated like a princess? Frankly, you guys wanna be treated like a kid sometimes.

5. Cares: We don't care about your feeling? Have you guys ever care about ours? We PMS! Get over it! And there is a price to pay if you want us to dress like one of those victoria secret models, we are not hookers!

People Talks

2009-03-09T14:28:00.003+08:00

This semester has been so weird. I mean why people love to pry about me? That makes me a little bit paranoid I guess. Why can't you just ask me if you wanna know? Also, 2 of my friends are going for the same girl? I mean omg?! Can it be more obvious? It seems that our school is really so out of girls. Whatever. As an outsider, I think I'd just watch like everyone else. I'm not trying to gossip, just these kinda things would come to my ears themselves. College...

Guys just don't understand

2009-02-17T15:35:00.000+08:00

Three chick flicks, one concert, hundreds of I-can't-live-without-u songs and an Amy Cheung's made my day after that abstract St Valentine's Day. I don't know why I would have been thinking about the same question these days. “How could guys be that slow when it comes to relationship?” Even for a smart guy like Stephen Hawking once said, “I would also like to understand women.” Are we really that complicated? Or if guys are just sitting on their brains the whole time?

Every guy says women are such a complicated animal. OK! Maybe we are not as direct as you think we would be but you guys should have the ability to read between the lines. That's a basic instinct! I mean what kind of girl would go on the street shouting at guys, “ I wanna get laid!”. Well, she must rather be a drunky, a hooker or whatever.

First of all, girls are blind when they are fighting their own feeling, even for the most rational one. We don't know why or how we fall. We only know that we do. Well, there seems to be a pattern for girls to fall in love for the same kind of guys like all the time. Some guys would get really confused and ask for a reason when we fall for jerks. Frankly, we don't know why neither. Like I said, we are BLIND!

When we say “I love you”, we really mean it. So believe it, cast the 3-word spell and insist that you love that girl more if u feel the same. Never lie to a girl as guys usually just suck at lying! If you want to lie, be smart. Don't let us find out the truth ever.

I remember Hawking also said, “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” Maybe he was true or maybe we just haven't found the right person.

Revolutionary Road

2009-01-13T17:45:00.012+08:00

Watching the Revolutionary Road, a sudden thought came into my mind. How many of us are actually doing what we want and be with the love of our life?

Take a look around, we grow up, learn and try to get the nicest job we could ever dream of so as to pay for a "home sweet home". We love, get hurt and fall all over again in order to find someone to come home for. Everyone of us is secretly walking with the same pattern in some way. Sadly, none of us could really tell if that's really what we want. Wasting half of our lifetime, we eventually get to the cruel truth, we still end up getting cold feet because of the unknowns. Ironic, isn't it? Days and nights, we grumble about being miserable but we are just not willing to do a thing about it.

Life is unfair. It never is and it never will be. Some people get lucky. Chances keep flashing by and being wasted. Some just sit and pray for a better day and get nothing in return. Maybe you would say that something likes eloping is what coward would do. Think again, it takes courage to actually go for your dream.

Are we just living in our own fantasies? Or if we are all on the Revolutionary Road?

What does love mean?

2008-12-11T09:25:00.008+08:00

Reading through an inspiring note of my friend which listed definitions of love from some little kids, I can't help and wonder what's the meaning of love? Or does love really exist outside Disney?

When people start to grow up, we tend to make things more complicated than it should be and even forget about the love that we have. We just get lost and blinded by all the politics in relationships sometimes. The craziest thing is we now call those politics love.

What is love to me? I always love the way it is told in the bible.

"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. ..."-(Holy Bible)

Beautiful, simple, pure and the truth that we always know somehow deep down inside our heart and hidden by all the calculations.

We could even doubt the love from people who are biological programmed to love us, how about 2 people that are not related? Is it possible for us to get our heart back from the childhood and say love is when I could share all my french fries with you and ask for nothing in return?

Single And Fabulous!

2008-11-09T12:45:00.001+08:00

It’s 2 in the morning, another sleepless sober Sat night. With my coffee and a Michael Crichton’s, I’ve just started to realize that I’ve had this same weird conversation with different friends today.
“A: Are u seeing someone?
Me: What? No, who said that?
A: I don’t know. Just look like you are”

Could someone really actually tell if that guy/girl was dating or not by simply a look? I am not a feminist but why no one believes girls could still be doing great without men. OK, Maybe I am afraid of commitment or maybe I’m just trying to avoid all the possible heartbreaking sections. I still believe in “single and fabulous!”

Jealousy

2008-11-09T12:44:00.001+08:00

I’ve never believed a relationship full of jealousy is gonna work. I am not saying that it’s no good to have the green devil around sometimes, but when it takeovers everything? That’s not good. Frankly, none of my friends survived. Most of them end up with “the break-up”. Pity!

Where does all the jealousy come from if you have faith in your own relationship? Why bother starting a relationship if you are not secure in it? Guys, why don’t you just start believing that you are the only one for your girls and Girls, guys could have girl friends too! What kind of relationship is that if you can’t accept these facts?

I'll Be There

2008-09-03T01:48:00.001+08:00

I'll Be There

Writing on your hands
Whispering in your ears
Please catch me when I fall

Dancing in the pouring rain
Raindrops or tears
Could u be able to tell

Saying those words again
Down on your knees
Hoping you could change it all

Be here waiting
Blinking back my tears
Promising nothing is gonna change

2008-07-31T14:13:00.001+08:00

Finally, I've done reading “Why Men Love Bitches”. This book is really fun to read. It's interesting not because how Argov talked about some “nice girls” might fake an orgasm so as to please their men but the way she said that every girl should be independent.

Many of my girl friends have been experiencing the “breakup” or “recovering” lately. No doubt, it's heartbreaking. Grumbling, yelling and crying like hell seem appropriate. When you think again, you should have known that those are just some silly acts showing you are desperate. Why should we be sad for someone who takes us for granted? We are so much better than that. Choosing to be with the guy we fell for doesn't mean we can't live without guys, it's just the matter of choice. We could still be doing just fine with or without men. There is nothing worth dying for. Learn to love yourself before loving the other. If you don't, you are just as pathetic as the guys who don't know how to love.

Love isn't a game that we gotta learn to play by the rules. There are too many unexpected. Just so everyone knows, most of the girls trying so hard to please their guys just wanna show they care. Some girls are just not the “bitches” materials. It took more than love to build up a relationship. I mean love fade eventually if you don't hold it. A little bit respect would be appreciated.

If Tomorrow Never Comes

2008-07-19T16:38:00.001+08:00

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Listening to the rain
Finding a reason to make it through a day
There is only one voice in my brain
Your are here for me as always

Being in your arms today
Feeling your heart beat so strong
With this sunset fading away
I could know that this is where I belong

Holding my one last breathe
Just to tell how much you mean to me
No matter the dawn is gonna break or not
I’m gonna love you till the end

just... feel like writing this

Tired to wait or just can't help to search...

2008-07-10T01:10:00.000+08:00

Recently, I just have a feeling that everyone around me is kinda interested into my love life. Why's that? No matter where I go, "Any new guys?" seems to be a must-ask question. Do girls really have to be that hurry finding "the one" or finding "the one" has already became a way to satisfy friends n parents' curiosity?

As a girl, I still don't get it. Why everyone has to act like "I can't live without a man". Is it really matter for a girl to stay single? It's great to be in a relationship but exhausted to look for the right one. More important, it hurts to find out he/she is not "the one". If there is such thing of meant to be, why do we have to waste our time to search and get hurt?

In this game of hide and seek, I've started to realize there is no perfect one for everyone of us. There are always problems about the right time and place. Waiting is just tiring.

June Bride

2008-06-30T00:10:00.001+08:00

Aprilshowers bring May flowers, June seems to be the best month to get married. The weirdest thing is July is coming! No matter where I go, I see things related to marriage and baby. Is that just a girl illusion or something like a sign? That drives me crazy.

Wedding gown should be each girl’s favorite dress. Well, I’m a girl too but recently, this bridal thing is kinda driving me crazy? I love flipping through fashion magazines. Lately, even I’m reading a cosmetic magazine, there is a bridal section!!!! What’s going on here? Bridal sections in July issues of every single magazine?!

When I was sitting in a café, sipping my Irish cream latte, there are always cute little kids or babies around. I just can't help but to go playing with them...

Although bridal things, family stuff are beautiful, it’s still not so funny for single girls to run into all those things EVERYDAY and EVERYWHERE! When is it gonna stop? I mean the “June bride” dream should be over now! It’s July few more days later!

Men and Dogs, No Big Difference?

2008-06-22T00:56:00.001+08:00

Have you ever got IM and asked for cyber or been sent naked pics? Having plenty of guy friends, I’ve started to realize that good guys, girls have been dreaming of are pretty much extinct. Theoretically, 80% of the guys are all about sex. This type of guys don’t really care who the hell you are, only if you got boobs and asses. Another 10% are the “Prince Charming”, they are married, live happily ever after with their princesses and going to be extinct sooner or later just like those hot blondies with sexy blue eyes. Apparently the 10% left are gay. They are perfectly fine for a date if you don’t mind holding hands with a guy in pink pants.

I am not saying that it’s wrong for guys to think about sex. It’s a basic animal instinct. Trust me, girls crave for the same thing. Only we do it in a different way not going out on a street and shout “I wanna get laid!”. Frankly, you could pretty much get everything if you could be able to make a girl crazy about you. What are the differences between you and the dogs if you guys don’t know how to BE SMART and think about what we really want?

Dignity or Not

2008-05-06T16:44:00.001+08:00

Heavy rain last nite, I had no choice but to rush back to my room since I don't have an umbrella. It was so not romantic. I used to love walking in the rain so as to cleanup my mind. I have got rid of this bad habit I guess. Living like a mess is better than living for nothing.

When it comes to mess, everyone around me is kinda messy. I mean they are dealing with the hardest part of a relationship, the breakup. Even when I was home, I could find girls yelling, screaming on the phone asking for the reason of the breakup in the public. Is the breakup so hard that drive everyone crazy or it's about how much we have paid into a relationship?

No doubt, breaking up is tough no matter it's ur call or not, if it's necessary to make it even harder yelling and crying. Is it possible to breakup with dignity? Why dont just cry abit in your bed and get a good sleep? As a matter of fact, you are living in real life, you gotta deal with it. Waking up, It would be a different day.

CHEER UP MY FDS. <3

Fine or Not

2008-04-29T20:15:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wondered who would be there taking care of you when you are sick? I did after throwing up all night. I wasn’t surprised that there was actually no one there. That’s the worst thing to be single, rite?Who do you want the most at that moment? I don’t know, I was kinda thinking of A, no matter how hard I have been trying to tell myself that I’m so over him. Surprisingly, I am still a bit confused about his category in my life. For most of you, bf/gf and friends would most likely be your very first choice. Even you haven’t shown, you were actually so glad that there were someone there asking if you were ok. Maybe we just need to ensure the love around still exists, or maybe illness brings out our insecurity. Let think it this way, would you wanna be there for the one you care about in this sorta situation? Everyone wants to of cuz. Trust me, I almost flew to Paris when I knew he was shot. I guess I should have.

Self control or Not

2008-04-23T10:18:00.001+08:00

When you are bored in class, what would you do? Well, texting, chatting, PSP are most likely to be happened. Today, I was pretty bored in the Math class, I’ve overheard some guys conversation. It was about their “experience”. Do you guys have nothing to show off other than having sex with a prostitute?
Well, it’s not my first time hearing or getting involved in guys’ talk which was about sex. I’m actually ok with this sorta conversation but is it necessary to share it in class loudly? They can’t give themselves a little bit self control. Guys talk should be in a club, rooms or online. Even if u wanna let the gurls know that u ar such an expert in geisha houses, u say it directly, not giggling like a gossip girl. Be a MAN!
Somehow, guys just can’t get rid of the animal nature. I’ m not saying that it’s not ok to have sex. No offence. I just wanna wish them luck with the HIV test.

Losing Game or Not

2008-04-21T23:10:00.000+08:00

“Don’t find a man u luv but a man who luvs u”, isn’t it familiar to you? Everyone must have heard that especially for gurls. It seems to be a new responsibility for mothers to warn her own daughters way before we took our first dance class. How many of u could reali do that?
No matter how hard we try to keep that in mind, we would just make the same mistake again and again. “Sex likes a man” is rarely happened to a gurl. Even Samantha Jones gotta admit that she was in love with Smith. Being with someone u doesn’t like is such a torture. With a guy treating u like a princess, it just doesn’t seem rite.
Maybe gurls are just attracted to BADBOYS or maybe we were reali designed to lose in this game. We just can’t fight our feelings.

Mars, Venus or Not

2008-04-13T19:24:00.001+08:00

For guys, gurls with huge boobs and hips are most likely to be called hottie. For gurls, topless Chad Micheal with six packs is sexy no doubt, but we are looking for more than physical. Even the way guys talk might say to be sexy, so how do u define sexy? Is it the way we think lead us to the different planets?
Well, for me, musicians and sport players are hot but am I gonna fall for this sorta sexy? Guys always said they dont understand women. Think again, women ain't that hard to be understood. Women are just complicated animals who look for simple comforts. When we said we wanted to talk, we are looking for a listener not an answer. Frankly, It is such a turn-off for u guys to keep providing answers which we don't need. All u need to do is to be there and say that everything's gonna be alrite.
Men n Women, we even got different ways to define sexy. How could we be possibly living on the same planet. Maybe it's our difference make us attracted to each other.

Cursed or Not

2008-04-12T11:45:00.000+08:00

Bridesmaid/ Groomsman?
"Thrice a bridesmaid, never a bride". Still remember there was such curse about being a bridesmaid. It is also said that it could be broken by being a bridesmaid seven times. Knowing there is such curse, have u ever wondered how many times you r gonna be somebody's bridesmaid or groomsman? Let put it this way, how many close fds u got would want to have u as their bridesmaid or groomsman to share the best moment of their life? For me, more than 3 I guess but Im not so sure if it's gonna reach 7. I admit that I got a lot of fds. When it comes to fds you could reali talk to, not much. Isn't it true for everyone? How are u gonna choose if u are asked to wear ur 3th bridesmaid dress? I'd take the risk. It doesn't mean I dont wanna be a bride. Trust me, every gurl thought about their dream weddings when they were little. Just I believe that my guy would be there for me no matter we are married or not but being my fds' bridesmaid indicate that how much u mean to them. It would be such a shame to miss out the way they walk down the aisle.

Ready or Not

2008-04-09T14:42:00.002+08:00

Having a friend who is married to a girl at my age, I was kinda surprised. I'm not saying that he should marry me or something, I was surprised that how they could come up with this kinda huge decision. When they married, he was like 20 and the girl was 18 and pregnant. U might think it's dramatic. Believe it or not it is true. I was so proud of him but marriage is such a great commitment. No doubt, the proposal part is sweet. When you couldn't even be able to take care of urself, how can you promise that you could take care of ur other half and kid and live happily ever after? Maybe that's y I said maybe someday n ruined everything or maybe I just not sure wt we were. I'm not the one who think marriage is just the last legal form of slavery. I do belileve in marriage but When could we stand up and shout out loud that we ar ready? Never I guess!

Chicken or Not

2008-04-09T10:59:00.001+08:00

It's funny how we start a relationship. Before the relationship, there are always bubbles. You are not sure about how u feel about that guy/ gurl and how he/she feels about u. U might end up getting the wrong msg or too chicken to say wt u were supposed to say. Sadly, most of us are the chicken type, especially for guys. I remember there were guys asking me wt to do after finding themselves got a crush on somebody. The very first thing came to my mind was "Are u serious?". I mean GUYS, if u fall for somebody, u tell her, not ask ur fds! Sometimes, guys are just more chicken than the gurls. Even gurls gave them hints, they just aren't dare to take the first move.Are we kinda going back the the age of blind-dating? In this case, no one would have to worry about who's making the first step.

Bitchy or Not

2008-04-05T22:44:00.003+08:00

Studying in Mainland China for almost 2 yrs, the one and only one thing I've learned is how to be bitchy. Everyone here says HK gurls are bitchy. Think again! Wt makes us so bitchy? It's u ppl!
I'm pretty gd at pissing my roommate off now. I dont reali wanna be like that she just kept testing my patient every single day. I'm just wondering, living with a guy would probably be better than living with her.
Trust me, I was not that bitchy. Some guys even called me "Gurl next door type" while they were writing stuff on my notebk at the end of the skool yr. At least guys dont think Im bitchy. Maybe gurls do. I dont know. Anyway, spending time with my bloody roommate, rude ppl on the bus and blah blah blah, I realized that there ar no space for us to be sweet and nice here in China.
We, gurls ar not meant to be bitchy, sometimes I'd rather call it self defense. When you have no guys standing up for urself, U just gotta learn how to be bitchy so that no one would dare to take advantages on u.

True Romance or Not

2008-04-03T12:29:00.003+08:00

Living in a city like Hong Kong, U might find that ppl around are always busy with something. When we take a closer look to every single one, u might find it hard to find any trace of romantic stuff. Is the city lack of true romance?
Y dont you ask urself wt the most romantic things you have ever done with ur bf. It might be a candle night dinner, movie nite or something like that on the weekend. Even ppl offer u his seat could say to be romantic but someone writing u a luv poem is icky! wt's wrong with everyone? That's just the way to express one's feeling.
Maybe we are just too used to the oridinary life we are living. True romance became sorta old-fashioned for many of us. Do you think it's time for us to picking up some of those true romance to light up our life?

Long Distance or Not

2008-04-01T10:08:00.004+08:00

What's the most interesting things of being in a relationship? Some say joy, some say the feeling n some might say the physical contacts. I'd say the unknown. Maybe that's y ppl found long distance so interesting. I dont know. Long distance just makes me feel like I have it but I dont.
Long distance is great. I mean beauty grows with distance rite? Even it is always kool to look forward to the unexpected, there ar reali too much unknown in relationship like this. Unknown could be scary sometimes. U just feel like you could never know what's in his/her mind. It is hard when you realized that there was no one be there for u when u needed him/her the most.
What we were? I'm not sure. I dont know if we could say to be a relationship. It was sweet but I just didn't think I could even make it to top 5 in his heart no matter what he said. Bloody French. It was tough to admit that he luv his job more than me.

Reality or Not

2008-03-30T20:46:00.000+08:00

Ayn Rand once wrote, “Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It is yours.” It has been years since graduating from high school. It should be time for every one of us to shine, to go for our dreams. Looking back to these days, all I saw was days of fooling around, cheerleading for the basketball team and studying 24/7 for the public exams were slipping away silently with all the childhood faiths and beliefs. Does everyone have to go through this process, facing the reality?
Gathering with a bunch of old classmates during the winter break, I found something that I’ve lost for a long while. It was such a great moment to meet so many old friends who gave one another courage to fight for our dreams. Years ago, only less than half of the students could get into the colleges after sitting for the public exam. No one could really understand how hard we’ve been studying for that, unless you were part of that miserable educational system. After receiving the shocking result, I was delighted to know that everyone moved on. Some got into colleges, some took different kind of training courses and some stepped into the society. At least all of them were heading to their goals.
What was I doing here? Frankly, I was not so sure. I got into a college studying things that I hated so much. Maybe I was just too stubborn to admit that I was not that straight-A student anymore and let my passion perished with time. Seeing my old friends made me think twice about what I really want for my life. That passion is kinda coming back to me I guess.
Sometimes, it is not that hard to face the reality, only if we could keep on believing in ourselves. And sometimes, we just have to be reminded what we are capable of so as to keep that fire burning inside. The world we desire can be won.

Outsider or Not

2008-03-30T14:02:00.001+08:00

Are u in love? There are dozens of traces proving if u are or not. It isn’t that difficult to notice these sorta traces. As “an outsider”, the picture is even clearer. Outsider could even get the hints before “the one”. What if “an outsider” became “an insider”? It would definitely be a mess. Maybe just because I’m a Pisces or maybe not. Being an outsider for so long kinda make me hesitate to get into the circle to be an insider. I’m not insecure about relationship or maybe a little. Outsiders just don’t know how to make the move when it comes to themselves.

Sex appeal or Not

2008-03-28T23:39:00.001+08:00

Weather is kinda getting hot lately. All of my tops could finally get out of my wardrobe. Walking down the street, 9 out of 10 guys stare at my boobs or my waist if i was with my lowcut jeans or legs if i was with skirt. Trust me or go try it urself. If tank top n jeans could give such a big influence, guys would probably pass out when they see bikini gurls by the pool.
Im not saying that it's a sin for guys to look at gurls. Gurls do the same to the boys. It's instinct but do u guys reali have to give this kinda lascivious look? I mean at least guys should control themselves a bit in order not to let the gurls think you are dogs. I've never found HKers doing this. It gave me another great reason of not into chinese guys.

Hunting or Not

2008-03-27T11:33:00.000+08:00

Some ppl said that for guys, relationship is kinda like hunting. They look for the excitment throught the hunting process. They'd search for the new target if they think they got u. For gurls, it's like picking herbals. We just treasure wt we've got after picking wt we want. Of cuz, there are some exceptional cases. During the hunting, the "bitches" type is always the main target. The "gd gurl" type is not. I mean which hunters would choose a hidden little rabbit instead of a deer knows how to flirt?Sometimes, we, gurls are not playing hard-to-get. We just dont know how to say it cuz we have been so used to be hunted.

Move on or Not

2008-03-26T21:50:00.000+08:00

d Sometimes, we do realize how stupid we were to fall for the wrong guys. All we do is blaming ourselves being such a naive little gurl at that time. Even we know that it's time for us to move on, we just couldn't. Moving on seems to be the
the hardest part.
How long does it take for u to move on? I'd say forever. Once u fall for somebody, it would be impossible to get over him the next day. He always stays in ur heart n shows up whenever u feel like needed someone.
It's so easy to tell ur fd to move on but when it comes to urself... It's hard. Somehow we just need somebody else to heal. Anyway, If I had moved on, I would have got rid of my French Addict for a long time.

It's time to let go, dear fds.

Time needed or not

2008-03-25T21:37:00.002+08:00

I've listened to a radio station recently. The host mentioned that there was a research about relationship stuff. It was said that if someone could look u into the eyes for more than 5s, he or she wants u! Have u ever reali looked into somebody eyes for more than 5s? It wasn't a easy task but I do believe everyone did that before.
Even it was some kinda scientific stuff, I dont think 5s is needed. Sometimes, we just know. One single look, one single word n one single touch would be more than enough to show how much u like someone.

Pure Fdship or Not

2008-02-28T12:13:00.003+08:00

Is it possible for a gurl to have 100% pure fdship with a guy? I've been asking this question to myself for a long time. I do believe it's possible cuz I think I could manage it well. Too well that I've even noticed I have missed so many things. Maybe it's the problem of having too much bfs, I mean friends who ar guys.
I'm always gd at telling who is fell for somebody or who is having an affair. When it comes to myself, it's such a mess. I suddenly became too slow to get those hints. Anyway, I still can't understand why I'm always the one to be the relationship consulter. Maybe that's how I manage this kinda 100% friendship.

Crush or Not

2008-01-21T21:46:00.000+08:00

It's funny how difficult it is for us to realize that we are in love. There are dozens of book telling us about those little traces that we couldn't even notice. Who knows? As a Pisces, I do admit I'm kinda have a crush on everyone easily.
I've never expected any great guy come into my life cuz great guys have extincted! Every girl is just looking for someone to give her that sense of secure, someone to hold on to, a shoulder to cry on...

Friendship or Not

2007-11-30T11:29:00.000+08:00

Being a college year 2 student, things do change. Everyone is busy with his/her own stuff, so am I. The less you could meet your friends, the more you find out who your friends really are. Keeping a distance with anyone, all I found out was that beauty comes with distance.
So many friends around, loneliness is still the closest company. You don't know who could be trusted, who could talk to. Can I use "C'est la Vie!" now? That's life! It is so difficult to find someone next to you when you need somebody. Am I being too dependent? I guess so but everyone wanna count on someone in some ways. Dose it make a different with a friend be by your side?

Being Controlled or Not

2007-10-19T16:48:00.000+08:00

It's weird to find out that a friend of mine being a little addicted to being controlled. Isn't it crazy? I think so. How come there would be a person who love to be followed around even you are going to class. Isn't it called love? Maybe it is. When you do love someone so much, you just can't do anything without him/her around.
Things would always go to an extreme, when your msg record, timetable and web history are being checked everyday. Who knows?! Sometimes, we just ruined our relationship we cared so much by ourselves and we just didn't even notice. What a shame? Why can't we just take it easy? isn't it so cool to fight with each other all the time? I don't think so. Whatever.

Hurt or Not

2007-09-13T19:28:00.000+08:00

It was a kinda bad luck today. I broke my leg. It was hurt really. I cried. It was not just because of the pain, it's because of this emptiness. Where was he when I needed him the most? I have no idea. No matter how many friends you got, they couldn't be there for u anytime. I've known it for a long time. Even for him, he couldn't be there for me neither, that's hurt the most.
I can still smile at my friends when I was trying to tell them I was ok. It seemed fine from the outside but the truth is not just like it seemed sometimes. Who knows? I become pretty good at hiding my own pain. Lessons learned rite?

Break-up or Not

2007-09-06T19:28:00.000+08:00

Knowing the break-up of my friends in college, I just got the feeling of fraglie love. They have never really got into any fight in the relationship.
No matter how u love a guy, the love would fate away. There was a report that love could only be held for few months in a science way. Isn't it true any way? What a shame if it's true.

Environment or Not

2007-08-16T09:49:00.000+08:00

Recently, there is an American cartoon movie showed in the cinema. That's "The Simpsons Movie". Some of you might found it stupid and said "God, I'm an adult. How would I go to watch a cartoon in the cinema?" As a teenage, I would say the same words but I was still attracted by the trailer. The trailer is real funny. I just thought it would definitely be a great away to relax.
This cartoon is kinda sarcastic. It just talked about the nowadays' environmental problems and how the government turn a blind eye on those issues and our selfish acts of course. Isn't it the time for all of us to think before taking a step?
In Hong Kong, the environment problems are getting serious each day. The government just kept trying their best to do the city development. While the development, did they really care about the environment especially for our very own Victoria Harbour? Someday, this harbour might eventually becomes a myth. No one could ever find a tract of its existence. Is that what we want? The government is right about the development in some ways but the better reconstruction of the old town and the control of immigration from the mainland China could definitely help a lot in these issues.

Career or Not

2007-08-13T10:32:00.000+08:00

Rececing a msg from a friend, I started to think that am I really wanna be a business woman who are real independant. I think the answer is No.
Which gurl don't wanna have a sweet boyfriend who always stays by her side no matter what. Having someone who love you so and willing to provide anything you need. Such a perfect life. I would choose to become a woman behind the husband if I could find someone like that.
Anyway, who's perfect? Frankly, Money is always a better company rite? You can trust it and it provide anything you need. Choosing Finance as my major becuz I wanna gain some more money so that I can fulfill my dream to do some art and something like that in the rest of my life. Marry money should be the best choice!!!!!!!

Depressed or Not

2007-08-09T15:06:00.000+08:00

It rained the day when I got my HKCEE result. The rain of depressed. I don't really know how my feeling was. Only thing I knew was my failure. I failed to fulfill my dream, my mum and myself. I was pretty complex.
Yesterday, 2 years later, another group of students got their result, and passed the important way in their life journey. My sister was one of them. It didn't rain that morning. The sky was just grey and the cloud was thick. It was the first time to get the HKCEE result as a older sister but I was much worried than 2 years ago. I thought that she could get a bright result, so sad I was wrong. That night, there was a terrible rain. Everyone was depressed by the rain.
Maybe god is just making us a fool. We fight for ourselves, our future. All we can have is that sadness in the end.

Dream or Not

2007-08-06T09:24:00.001+08:00

The more I grow up, the more I love art. I love it in the form of music and writing. I got a dream. It's to put my interest in the first place during my life journey like many people did. Instead of having dreams, I found there are only few lucky one could do so if you couldn't chance on the rite place, rite time and a rite interest with enough capital of course. I'm sort of giving it up already until I chanced on Chris having a show in a mall with his band. No doubt, they just made me remember how much I crave my dream.
Maybe I had given up so many chance or maybe I just don't know how to get my chance. So many maybe. I do believe that not everyone could be that lucky. Sometimes, we just dont have a choose.

Jealous or Not

2007-08-04T09:24:00.000+08:00

Early morning, a lot of couples went to work together. It was so sweet to just look at them. Am I jealous about it? I don't know. I was just wondering wt if "my cup of tea" was there next to me. Would the other get jealous?
Every girl wants to be with their date anytime but what if everyone is in pair, what would make them notice how lucky they are?They would just take their love for granted. It's weird, isn't it? Without any comparison, who would know that and treasure the moment they have? Suddenly I just think that single people like myself do play an important role too! Why jealous?

Better or Not

2007-07-13T13:05:00.000+08:00

For all of us, teenagers, we might always think that it would be better to be somebody's son or daughter. We would always think that our friends have a better parents, better living condition and which would lead to a better life eventually. I have the same thought too. Living in my own place, I've never found myself. I could never be good enough for my dad. I'm such a bad sheep for my own family for him but he had never thought that he was the real bad sheep. I just don't want to depend on him and give him an excuse that I couldn't do anything without him. Most of my friends think that I have a kool family and I could have almost everything I want and they are wrong. Anyway, who could really know the others' life without really getting into it?

Alone or Not

2007-06-20T18:16:00.000+08:00

Isn't it weird for me to want to be left alone? It's good to be left alone sometimes. I could have the space to think about the impossible. Of course, who really want to be alone all the time. I do think that god is playing with me, I mean there is always something bothering me whenever I want to be alone but there is always no one around whenever I need a company.

Relationship or Not

2007-06-04T20:14:00.000+08:00

It's weird when I was talking with a fd about her relationship. Knowing the others' little secret of romance made me sad I guess. I don't know why, maybe because of my own "romance" life. It's sarcastic. People ask me, who don't even know what love is, for advise on their love life.

2007-05-27T01:46:00.000+08:00

I got a weird feeling lately. I mean I just feels like standing in the middle of no where. No one ever cares. Everyone got this feeling maybe, but it's getting stronger and stronger. Going down the street, hanging around in a mall... I just feel that loneliness is following me around. It's terrible.
I didn't afraid of being alone but I'm now. Really! Is it becuz I am really getting older or I'm a little bit homesick? Coming up with the conclusion, relationship between ppl would be broken simply becuz of the distance. I'm not meaning that I've lost all of my fds. I know they would be there for me. I just... I think I'm falling apart in many ways.